- An Open Letter to Nice Guys
- The Picture Girl We All Know
- Straight Guy’s Guide to Hot Guys
- 25 Things I learned in 25 years
- Dear Miley
- 2013 MTV VMA’s Drinking Game
- I Don’t Want To Live In A World Where Ben Affleck Is Batman
- Just Do You
- Can we talk about the new Lady Gaga song for a second?
- Let’s Talk About Student Athletes
Stop the Flip-Flop Madness
This week we’re talking flip flops, and I’m about to piss some people off. If you’re a lover of wearing your Havaianas, Rainbows, or $2.50 Old Navy floppers everywhere you go, brace yourself. I’m going to say some things you don’t want to hear.
Unless you are pool-side, or find yourself in a place serving pina coladas in a coconut shell, you need to ditch the flops. And here’s why.
Your feet are going to get dirty. And it’s going to be gross. Who wants to see your dirty toes and heels as you walk to the table in a restaurant? No matter what the rest of you looks like, if you’re feet look dirty and grimy, YOU look dirty and grimy. And who wants that?
Shoes should not flip and flop. The sound of stilettos on a hard floor is sexy. The sound of you flipping and flopping down the sidewalk or through a restaurant is not. Sure, they’re comfortable, but so are sweats and you still manage to pull yourself together enough to wear acceptable pants when you go somewhere.
They make any outfit look half as good. You put time and effort into your appearance. Why do you want to immediately look half as good by putting half-inch pieces of rubber on your feet? I get it. The look is supposed to say “I don’t try too hard,” but the rest of you looks good, so clearly you care about how you look. Why spend time and money on good clothes and appearance if you’re going to wear them with flimsy rubber? There are so many other options for summer, from cute flats and sandals for girls to boat shoes and loafers for guys. Give them a try.
They aren’t practical. It’s a half-inch of rubber that is barely attached to your foot. If there was ever an impractical choice in footwear, this is it. The lack of traction alone makes it impractical. Who hasn’t flipped out of their flop or slipped on a drink spilled on the floor of the bar?
They are gross. Yes, that’s right. Gross. I’m not going to go all scientific on you here, but studies have shown that the amount of disease you pick up on those little pieces of rubber are insane. Have a little cut on your foot? (If you’ve been wearing flip flops everywhere you go, it’s a given that you have some sort of cut or abrasion.) All it takes is one of those diseases hanging out on the bottom/back of your flip flop to make it’s way into that cut and, eventually, into your blood stream. Walking through the city in flip flops? Hello, Hepatitis.
I, like everyone else, love a good flip flop. But there’s a time and a place and just because it’s summer doesn’t mean you should be wearing them everywhere you go. Wear them sparingly. Your feet – and everyone that has to look at them – will thank you.