Tim Tebow Drinking Game

By on December 24, 2011
Denver Broncos v Oakland Raiders

Unless you’ve been in some third-world country on a missionary trip, you’ve undoubtedly witnessed the crazy that is Tebow-mania;. 6 straight wins at one point, each more dramatic and improbable than the last have served as fuel for the bandwagon that everyone’s jumping onto. Facebook, twitter, television, radio, etc. You name a form of media, and Tim Tebow has taken it over. There’s simply no escape. Thank God for this drinking game to make it all a little more tolerable.

Drink of choice – Hail Mary

On Gameday – 1st to 3rd quarters

1)    Whenever Tebow makes the completely wrong read running the option, take a sip.

2)    Whenever Tebow misses a pass by at least 5 yards, take a sip.

3)    If Tebow is personally responsible for a turnover, take a shot.

4)    If Tebow gets sacked because he holds the ball for way too long, take a shot.

5)    Whenever the Broncos offense goes 3-and-out, waterfall during the punt’s hangtime

6)    Every time the Broncos defense forces a turnover, take a shot.

7)    If the Broncos offense goes 3-and-out immediately after said turnover, take another shot before following rule 4.

8)    If the Broncos offense ever gets a first down, pinch yourself to make sure you didn’t pass out and start dreaming, then take a shot.

9)    At halftime take a shot for each touchdown the Broncos have scored. Don’t worry, this will most likely be 0.

10) At 2:00 left in the third quarter, take a break. This game’s about to get a lot harder.

On Gameday – 4th quarter and overtime

1)    Start off by taking a sip for each point the Broncos are trailing by.

2)    When they show the montage of previous Tebow-led 4th quarter comebacks, take a shot.

3)    Every time Tebow completes a pass he had no idea how to complete earlier, take a sip.

4)    Whenever Tebow scrambles for a first down, take a sip.

5)    Whenever the Broncos score, take a shot.

6)    If one of the announcers says “Tebow-time,” punch a kitten in the face and take a shot.

7)    If you find yourself thinking “Alright, this time there’s no way…” take a shot.

8)    When the other team does something incredibly stupid so that Tebow gets another chance, take a shot.

9)    When Matt Prater makes a 50+ yard field goal to save Tebow’s ass, take a sip for each yard over 50 on top of the shot from rule 5.

10) When Tebow inevitably leads the Broncos on the game-winning drive…just shake your head and finish your drink.

Bonus: Take a shot every time Tebow mentions God or Jesus during the postgame interview. (Don’t follow this rule unless you want to meet the big guy really, really soon.)

About Henry Zhao

Sophomore at Purdue University (IU sucks). Brother of Alpha Kappa Lambda (XI:XI). Liberal use of sarcasm. Likes include Futurama and penguins. Dislikes include mushrooms and when other people are hypocrites. Blink and you might miss a joke. JT brought sexy back, I'm bringing witty back. Giada's my dream girl. #BoilerUp