"brag about your Jersey Shore cameo while studying abroad last year" yuppp gonzaga-in-florence summer '11. the best ever.
- An Open Letter to Nice Guys
- The Picture Girl We All Know
- Straight Guy’s Guide to Hot Guys
- 25 Things I learned in 25 years
- Dear Miley
- 2013 MTV VMA’s Drinking Game
- I Don’t Want To Live In A World Where Ben Affleck Is Batman
- Just Do You
- Can we talk about the new Lady Gaga song for a second?
- Let’s Talk About Student Athletes
Tips for Opening Weekend
Be there for opening weekend[divider]
Classes don’t start till Tuesday so you’re flying up on Sunday? Hopefully your airline has Wi-Fi so you can browse through pictures of your enlightened buddies taking body shots off of slutty freshman who skipped orientation in order to learn what you obviously didn’t: COLLEGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CLASS. Borrow their notes, get to college on time (early).
Make a playlist[divider]
There are few things worse than driving 5 hours and spending half of it flipping through your iPod to skip over the embarrassingly large amount of Taylor Swift songs you downloaded. Do yourself a favor and put together a bumping playlist. That way when you roll onto campus you’ll be amped, ready to throwback some shots AND have a ballin’ party playlist ready for the evening.
Move in fast then pour a glass[divider]
Whether you’re in a dorm, upgraded to an apartment, or kickin’ in a full-fledged party house: get your stuff settled, and do it quickly. You don’t want to be stuck putting together some Ikea bullshit with an Allen wrench the size of your goddamn pinky while your friends are putting together a beer bong fit for the front page of #CTL. Unless you plan on making an IKEA drinking game where you take a shot every time you lose a screw or come across a Swedish moniker that could be mistaken for a sex position, you’re not going to get messed up anytime soon. Best advice: Set up your mattress so you have a place to get off and nod off. Then call it a day, go out and play.
DON’T hit up last year’s hookup[divider]
Hooking up with last semester’s fling will set the tone for this semester. There are thousands (or hundreds) of Freshmen women arriving on campus who have elaborate fantasies about what college life is going to be like. Fortunately for you, those fantasies don’t involve shacking up with some green, wide-eyed Freshmen guy. They’re looking for a season vet, so get out there and claim your bounty.
Side note: Don’t delete last year’s hookup’s number. When 3am rolls around and you get a desperate drunk text, you’re going to need to know who its from (so you know why not to respond).
Make it count and make it memorable[divider]
Legends are made this weekend. Party hard and leave a legacy. It feels great when you’re walking down the street and hear, “Hey! You’re the guy that beer bonged a Steel Reserve 40, rode a keg off a two-story roof and bribed those cops into leaving the party?” Rap at a house party, shotgun a beer and crush it on your head, brag about your Jersey Shore cameo while studying abroad last year, host that raging party, or…just simply let it be known to the underclassmen that you’re not to be messed with.Submitted by DHoov @ Gonzaga U