America: The Land of the Free and the Home of Casual Sex

By on August 6, 2012
sex

This isn’t 1954, it’s 2012, and times are changing. We all know about the double standard: a guy has heaps of casual sex and everyone just assumes he’s in a fraternity and pats him on the back. A girl does the same and she might as well be publicly shamed for adultery, Scarlet Letter style. Well sister, sex is becoming less and less old school. Boundaries are being broken and more girls are starting to have casual sex like guys, and I’m here to tell you how.

  • You are not, Rachel McAdams. And that hottie you have your eye on across the bar is not Ryan Gosling. He is most likely a sweaty, sex driven a-hole who is dying to get in your pants. And that’s okay. Learn to take the romance out of average college nights. Sure, you might meet your future husband in college. But it’s probably not going to be this inebriated super senior stumbling towards you slurring his speech. Enjoy him while you can before he gets distracted by something shiny.
  • A wise man once said: “You only live once.” And well, you also only go to college once. In professional society, one-night stands are much more frowned upon, so get this slutty phase out of your system now while you’re young and it’s still socially acceptable.
  • Here’s my favorite reason why casual sex is okay for girls: because guys do it too! This is America, the land of equal opportunity. In Abu Dhabi, the women have to wear veils covering everything but their eyes to repel male attention. In America, and in college, it is your God-given right to flaunt what you got, and make use of it, for Pete’s sake! So, for the name of freedom, take home Mr. frat-tank eyeing you from the keg stand. Consider it your patriotic duty.
  • The fourth reason for casual sex is simple: experience. Nobody wants to marry Virgin Mary. There are no surprises in that. Through your various late night rendezvous’, you are sure to pick up some helpful tips and tricks that, when the time comes, will blow the pants right off Mr. Perfect.
  • The last reason why it’s okay for you to have sex whenever and with whomever you please can be said by none other than the lovely Carrie Bradshaw: “Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.”  In other words, Mr. Right can wait. You’re a free bitch, and you’re hot! So it’s about time you started acting like it.

Just remember, safe sex is great sex!

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