As Valentine’s Day approaches us, we shant forget its sole motivator, the real reason your man might go out of his way to remember to make a dinner reservation the night before the 14th, or drown you...

The only thing better than a group of friends is a group of alcoholic friends. You may think your besties as an extension of yourself in a different body… but you only know so much about a...

What? You used to be THAT little? Wait, what?! You were a baby at one point in your life, too?! OMG, me TOO! I am SO interested in seeing ALL your baby pictures. I thought I was...

If you have a Twitter, you’d know one of yesterday’s global trending topics was #howtopissagirloff. If you don’t have a Twitter, well then—in the words of Kat Williams—I don’t know what the fuck you’ve been doing with...

Thought Catalog recently posted a cupcake-stuffed article called “Why You’re Single,” and although it made me feel better about myself, it was a load of emotional horse shit. I could feel the tears dripping out of the...

In last week’s anticipation of the iPhone 5, which I actually held on Friday, I’d like to first start off by saying that it’s pretty much the same piece of shit. Siri just got taller and skinnier...

“I just love it when go from reading BerkeleyBabe’s shit, and then she just stops writing for awhile because she’s killing shit in fucking grad school. I just love that.” Said no one ever. You get the...

Everyone wants to do stupid shit before they die. Like jump off a bridge or shave an alpaca or hate-fart on Lindsay Lohan’s face. Or all three. Your bucket list is like a Picasso painting—it looks like...

I’m not the kind of person who likes to admit they have a type. But if you’re black, six-foot whatever, and throw the pig-skin for a living… then you’re my type. Tattoos are a bonus, especially since...

As a child, staying in your divorced parent’s meth-lab every weekend teaches you one thing—being an addict is okay. Sex is my personal drug of choice. So go ON with yo bad self. Daps for daddy issues....

Cancun destroyed me.  If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you’d know that all I did in ‘Cun was tan, drink belligerently, wear a sombrero, and take pictures of my ass. Que ridiculo. So in honor...

Sunday school obviously didn’t teach me anything. All I remember is something about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit (oh, how they all must hate me). And at the heart of the internet Holy Land,...

You will need: Plastic martini glasses Alcohol (both beer and a hard liquor option) Cable Good afternoon, upper-east siders. Gossip Girl here. Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan’s brats living off of...

Ode to Finals Week, according to Afroman. Sing along to this shit. Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, man. It was this blind student right, it was this blind student right… He was feelin’ his...

Wow, what a shallow and self-motivated piece of narcissistic trash she’s about to write.  Said no one ever. Hoe, I do what I please. You know you’re about to read this piece of shit all the way...