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Said No One Ever
“I just love it when go from reading BerkeleyBabe’s shit, and then she just stops writing for awhile because she’s killing shit in fucking grad school. I just love that.” Said no one ever. You get the point. Easy post for some easy slores. And I digress. I apologize for abandoning you like welfare children, but it’s only because grad school is teaching me to care more about securing a six-figure starting job than my CTL lovers. So fucked up. But here I am, writing. Anyway, I’m a nice individual, with great morals and zero split ends. Said no one ever.
“OMG! I just love it when I see the spinning beach ball on my Macbook.” Said no one ever.
“I can’t go to the bars tonight, I have to pay my car insurance on Monday.” Said no one ever.
“God, she looks aMAZE in those jeggings.” Said no one ever.
“I would never sleep with Chris Brown after he beat Rihanna.” Said no one ever.
“That’s just way too big for me. I need something smaller.” Said no one ever.
“The best part about sex on the beach is that I get sand all up and around my anal cavity.” Said no one ever.
“I love salad.” Said no one ever.
“I’m not going to eat the rest of my bacon.” Said no one ever.
“His bro tank makes me so wet.” Said no one ever.
“Asian people are my favorite.” Said no one ever.
“I’ll take a decaf coffee with extra de.” Said no one ever.
“It’s so sexy when a guy jizzes in my hair. It’s like conditioner.” Said no one ever.
“I wonder what the valedictorian of our high school is doing with her life these days.” Said no one ever.
“I just love it when my professor uses the Socratic method.” Said no one ever.
“He’s like 5’4″, dandruffy, cankles…” Said no one ever.
“I don’t know, I just prefer Popov.” Said no one ever.
“Yeah I’m going, but I’m leaving after one drink.” Said no one ever.
“Indian food is my favorite.” Said no one ever.
“I just love my roommate.” Said no one ever.
“Please tell me more about your trip to Africa.” Said no one ever.
“Your dick smells so good.” Said no one ever.
“That bitch who writes the blog is going to have a great career one day.” Said no one ever.